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#011 - Hi Lj
Apr. 21st, 2019 11:02 pmHello LJ,
I managed to stop myself from posting craps but now I am here to throw what inside me.
1st
After 2+ months of waiting, I received my card and my first bulletin (I hope it was first) Yay! . I showed it to my mother sister and niece. Just to show off. Haha. It was a bad luck with the ballot, but I received it. So somehow, my one of the pray come true ^^. I vividly remember, but my mother and sister said “Diorang kat sana suka-suka awak kat sini dapat ape?” and I just laugh. Hahahaha. What to do I did try to stop and leave them, but it not happen. So when opportunity comes without asking, I grab it.
Still, I consider entering with me getting my fc card, bulletin and birthday card. It will be my best birthday gift ever! But no, after asking around (sorry to bugging you fans) and mail the jfc they ask me to wait for my next birthday. It is in 2020 yo!. I don’t know how other fan feel, but I feel so sad about it. If I am not going to receive it just don’t just send automated mail, and don’t give me a hope. What sad me the most, they send it on my birthday. At first I thought it a wish, haha but no~ everyone received it right?. I just can’t with the liar. Even they aren’t responsible for that, but that not something I can accept easily. Japan is the country of technology but I believe only Johnny’s isn’t. I hope I can hack into their database and ruin everything -_-!
Anyway, on Friday, I cried my eyes out. The tears just come out. Just thinking about it makes me sad. At the end, I feel better. I had my puffy eyes the next day. Hahaha. Like nino’s case, I don’t trust jfc anymore. I don’t feel happy about update there ( not that I can come anyway and then what my mom told me make senses. Hahaha). Nevertheless, 5x20+ keep me entertain.
2nd
The next day, my friend contacted me. With my swollen eyes, i agree to meet her and so that I can forget all my sadness. Even it not intentional, but it is a good way to forgot about it. We went to 2-3 places, eating watching movies and eat. Haha. She not my bf, but she regularly contact me, so I consider her as my friend. She finally get a job and in training. I pray Allah will ease everything for her and get accept as permanent. ^^ . I can’t belief myself how I can agree to watch “ weeping women?” when im not usually watch that kind of movies. Hahaha. The best part of that movie is when the girl want to her doll. One of the person shout she even want to buy that kid a new doll. Lol. We laugh so hard at that part xD. Anyway,how hard my heart is, when it come to someone persuade me, at the end, I will end up following the request. XD. I am weak against kindness too. >< So Saturday, end with hurt foot and not crying . Huhuhu
3rd
Mural day. It been ages so I don’t know what should and shouldn’t do. At the end, im lost. It feel ive been ignore. But at the same time, to get accept is to blend in yourself. Somehow i managed.However I just cant stand the attitude. I hope I can change when Im here but it proves me wrong. For the rest of mylife I hope I can be okay. Then when everything finish, they said I can go back to the dorm, later I saw the picture they take as a group without telling anything? Can you belief that? The good thing is, I am not doing much. The bad things are my foot hurt which means, I did do works. It like you works but not being paid. I can’t understand what kind the world turn now, but its now and I need to adapt fast.
I believe me staying here made me survivor instinct crush. I become stupid person -_- But I didn’t cry about the card, which is good today. Maybe because my heart turn to stone.My everyday life is to check on the page incase there any new update~
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