Best Experience Ever Happened

Hello~ nadz desu~
As crazy as i always be~~

In April,2018
I want to be normal Arashi-Ex-an.
Which is I am not a fan.
I don't want to be hurt.
Because of different point of views.
By this i wont hurt as i declaring myself am a fan right?

It doesnt sound right, but i still want to enjoy what i love without being hurt.
This is new strategy. Experimental stage.

Yoroshiku

Another one~

So this is the feeling. your body feels cold. your hand shaking and the result : unsuccessful Became then ... same time relief . what to do if i hit and i still dont have money. This the best for me, so Ill be okay Glad i didnt have to wait for the 2nd one.
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For the rest. All the best! Who success in balloting congratulation
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I feel Jelly... The one who success have stars and come in beautiful decoration. Please do something about this, cause suddenly i feel sad with my message #arashi #result
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While looking at youtube, i found a video from zero about amie namuro. People crying and stay outside the dome. They still can hear the voice. So it not that bad to stay outside the dome. I already imagine myself . But will i manage to be outside the dome ?
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2nd day of the Ticket result day, Even i said i will be okay, i also feel sad. Even though i read all the nice word. Even i feel happy at last i have my own fc membership. It just sad.
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I ranting about ticket system and want to post in this thread but i dont think ill find it. Still, i disagree with the system when same people hit ticket for number of time even with Multiple fc member.Other than that, I believe there probably case who applied and companion...

..Both hit the ticket. I dont blame on fan because it definitely based on luck and they paid to be a members. Just if the system be a bit equal, It will be great. Even i saw friend hit, i am happy but cant help feel sad with the system. Anyway, Do we need to apply for...

the unsold, unattend seat, unpaid tickets? If i do need to do it, i pass. I believe other people need it than me. I probably in this dream forever `want to attend arashi concert´ but i pray, so everything InshaAllah will be alright
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And let see what will happen next. Anyway, i didnt receive my card. I didnt receivey birthday card. So if i didnt receive my birthday card which i kinda happy before, ill going chase them. Though i doubt ill ever to watch it . The notice came on my birthday ?

somehow this become my rant post .Sorry about that. Haha. Anyway, April is my self proclaim anniversary in arashi fandom. what should i do? i already ate 3 bars of meiji chocolate and it didnt count special anymore. I want to eat cake, but one slice cake is expensive?

The shops in shopping mall always scared me because of its price when i peak from outside the store. But eat it sometimes is nice right? That make it special. At the end, probably just eat mcD or kfc because it doesnt scare me that much

And please,please,pleaseeeeee this april, a good news come to my mailbox I need to calculate how much i need and expenses for incoming concert or 24 hours goods. Not having a job is tough
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Atlast on 050419, on @ matsumiya day, a day after sakuraiba vsa kiss day, I received the email. Yay. Alhamdulillah. But the shipping . Now i think i will get scare when i got an email. What is the best way to cut the shipping cost? Combine it? But there Additional cost
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I still disappointed in Jfc and more to myself. Because i expect the birthday card. Enter the #arashi fc is like a present to myself. Later they announce the card things on my birthday. In first place, if i am not going to receive it, do not give me hope.

Simply said i need to wait for my next birthday doesnt make me happy at all. My fault to expect that, my fault to enter late. I feel like crying and did cry when i think about this. Im depress. It stupid, but i want that than hitting a ticket.

It their rules, my bad timing or what so ever, just once, if i am not going to get it, dont say anything or give me hope. I hate liar. Thank you Jfc I dont want that stupid card anymore, save that to all good fans out there.

Mutual i talked to, sorry ive bugging you with my question. Also, thank you for guidance.
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done! After this my pinned tweet will be the link to the twitter i want to check only.

 Assalamualaikum, salam Ramadhan. May Allah ease our Journey and Accept our good deeds and fasting in this bless Month. I am sorry of i ever hurt whoever feeling with or without intention. Let's walk into this month to become a better person.

On 27^th January, 2019 . Sunday. (Evening)

I kinda procrastinate to do the cleaning. But around evening I start doing it. I feel happy cause of my sweat. Then later when I checked on whatsapp, my arashian fan message me arashi article T_T. Im checking it whether it is just the rumor on twitter. But it is an official one. Seriously speechless. After the ranting I did, and that news? I did tell what to do what they did, but I am not imagining it like this.

I am one of the broken people. Even I said cruel and bad word before. My heart doesn’t change much. Right side I understand, Left side, I don’t want it to happen. I am not crying but I know I will when all of feeling pile up. Im here for arashi, not individual love. ><.

They make conference at that day and clear things up. For number of times, this I expect from a group that I adore so much. They clear things up and give us smile. That all matter! They do it in the manner that I love. I am troublesome, but simple person. If they did it-state it clearly.

Honestly for me2 years not enough. With turmoil feelings. I saw many heartbroken people. It turn to be a sad day.

On 28^th January, 2019 . Monday

I try to sleep but I keep on wake up every hour. When I look at twitter I saw many people crying but at the same time they also encouraging each others. This is my first time after a while that I feel arashi fan really united. They comfort each other, less hate words towards other fans. That what it should be as a fellow fans.

I broke once and I try to be strong this day and I made it. I did a lot of ranting on twitter. Hahaha. And it feel so much better! I can’t imagine Arashi without Ohno. I am here because of his beautiful voice. The song won’t be same again if he not there. That’s why I will keep hoping. Then when I had issues of feelings, I will hope to the other member. That how I live till now. I also can’t imagine me watching one person at one time. T_T

 After news zero, things get better. I won’t trust 100% percent because if I did, it might kill me. So I put a barrier to my feelings. But seeing sho,aiba and jun in the conference. Maybe there is a chance.

After that, I think things had calm down and I am happy for it.  

On 30^th January, 2019 . Wednesday.

Then today arrives. I see the FC member had increase rapidly. Somehow I feel bad, because arashi has calculated the membership people and then it increase suddenly? They won’t be shock right? I don’t want Jun be trouble. Haha.

Anyway, put aside I want to leave them, I also want to go to the concert. I did lose hope but I still want to attend. Money. I don’t have money. Please pray for me I got a high paid part time job and it not a scam, or winning a contest? Only my hope. Seriously the announcements make me crazy. My brain process things weirdly and I try to achieve it in a weird way. Of course I am not expecting it to be true. But only if, accommodation is free~ I can made it? Hahaahaha.. I cannot sleep in the park right? The worst I arriving and then will be sending home T__T

Let keep praying.

Allah knows the best.  

Regard arashi I understand from the start. It just a matter of time wound will heal. And thinking Ohno is always thinking about that is sad. He can be free too. We no one to told no to him. He a human and let he do what he desire.

Well, if anyone wants to share they thought about arashi on hiatus announcement. I’m free to hear. I also love to know what resolution you will do. Applying for fanclub? Waiting for resale tickets? Or being Neutral about it?

That’s all. I’m going to post this long rant xD. Sorry mutuals~ or not. Hahaha

My motivation and mood swing is just awesome.
I didn't do well in my exam and i confidently don't care with actually i care....
My brain always thinking of a bad things..
but then it feel better when it here! 'blood matsuri' -_-
I can think right again . Still stress with pass paper.
Really hate when i spot an error or accidentally saw the right answer.
Ill bring me down to the lowest level on earth.

This week exam feel so bad. im studying but i cant remember.
But in my condition now. There nothing can be do than just do it.
Last paper tomorrow. Wish me luck!
Pray for me T_T.

Oh. I feel so frustrated. Since im busy with uni and exam. I missed card exchange.
And also i want this scan 月刊TVガイド 2019年2月号 - TvGuide 2019 February issues?
It seem the owner delete the link after sometimes...
It like the continuation from last year issues? i mean the picture sure nice ><

Other things. i really want to watch arashi new year message video which usually own by FC people.
Why i didnt save the right link or download it right away T__T

Thats all...

 

At last something about 20^th anniversary is out!

Only if I am in Fan Club – but I am not.

According to my understanding.

Only people in FC is able to participate.

Right? Lucky FC fans.

How I wish they can make everyone vote like Arafes.

But this special to FANS right? So, it for fans in FC only.

I don’t know if I am still Fans? 

In this condition I still want to vote and so sad because I cannot vote.

There must be arashian who feel like me.

And they not in FC and they love arashi so so much.

OOOOO. Matsumoto Jun & Johnny’s and Associate.

Please hear our voice of desperation.

At least do something special for us who not belong to FC because of our Money which just enough for our food and expenses in the country we live in.

And me, because of humiliation I feel before, I don’t ever think I will be in FC because now I think it is true.

But I did want to enjoy 嵐 to the fullest.

Anyway, for those who able to vote all the best! ^^

- The End -

#20^th Anniversary嵐

#why I am calling matsumoto Jun?

#oh, hoping him to see this...xD

#even it impossible, i take 0.1% chance xD

#over the edge - half-half- still crying 

 

Surprisingly, i keep remembering this date since yesterday. And its hurt. haha.
This is the saddest year ever. It should be the dead end since 2015 but im still here.
though i did take steps i am still here. i pray, but i am still here. being here also something.
if it does not have any meaning, it will be long forgotten?

I watched untitled~ yay~ i have so much things to complain xD
I am changed. But enjoying it. This time most of the song is not in my liking.
I also not listen to the album much.
For me its more like kpop song? the beat and lyrics maybe? i dont know or it just me...
But it hit me about the pairing. I love the idea about the solo more.
But I probably wont watch nino solo performance alone. (will watch later but maybe took long time)
He with aiba and other pair, somehow save me.

Through the concert video whenever i remember, i feel sad and wanna cry.
Weird to feel like that cause i know and my tears wont fall either but the feeling torture me.
Song for me part and so on, i feel asleep. True or not i remember that part about that corrupted women. Haha.
so im not watching the full show. Need to continue later.
I didnt forget this part when i saw the smile and the teasing (ohhh..my ohmiya heart).
Bring me back of my past memory (not that long though)



Because of the concert, i got a dream about the tsunami but everything is the snow?
Scary..whenever i got the tsunami dream its always scary and everything will involve me and my family ><
but i always survive. somehow...

Back to the concert...
I hope i can download the big files one. >///<
And i hope i can enjoy it more. Soon or later. Like the other concert.
cause i know its still there.

Lastly,
Happy Birthday   Ninomiya Kazunari.
I tried but....Rumors or not. It seem true.
I truly hate her with all my heart and pray bad for her.
Her act hurt some people and well she old enough to act like a girl.
Fans? They can go to whenever they want. Huh, im tired of them.
At the end, i don't care and follow the hurt people.
I feel bad for them too.
Because of her,that bring you along somehow.
But i like to see success in your future career.
All the best for you.
[ Please Married Ohno Satoshi Instead of her please- ]

Why do i saw this in my fg facebook?
Its a nice words . It just me black heart not accept and redha. I pray someday i will insyallah.

Even with so much hope and suggestion i made for myself to follow.
dame da..... Noooo goood...
why do i still feel it? and the effect reading fan ranting not even help i believe.
lol at self and crying at same time.
people dah move on kot xD

next approach is taking video from laptop.
but i believe ill download other video xD
atm still avoiding looking at certain someone xD
but remember sho dlm mmpi, rasa mcm bole plak dengan sho
baik plak dia....
tp klua je skandal, mesti masuk icu balik. xD

song is ok since its can be encouraging.
let see. harap bole lepas untuk 2 week ni.
tapi better 3 week? 4 week?
no fb. no twitter. no update. lj only.

da la bulan pose, nk pekse.
bnyk plak dugaan dalaman.
tapi da berusaha.
segalanya, tawakal.
hehe.

Tapiiiiiiiiiiiiii.....tak saba nak tggu concert !!
tggu raya pon xdpt duit raya dah xD

Oh.  Da bli kad raya kat tesco. before puasa, awal giler kali ni.
tapi problem xtau nak anto kat sape. hahahaha....
ade la certain org2 nk bg. tapi kalau da lama xtego, bole ke?

ummm.... ann-chibi ... nak kad raya tak? <<<< taktau orgnya nmpk ke tak. hahahaha....
kalau nmpk, ade reply la tu nnti... xD

For Muslim All over the world , Salam Ramadhan
Ramadhan Mubarak.
This place where i throw my feeling the most and if i ever hurt someone feeling here, i ask for forgiveness.
May Allah Ease Our journey in this Month, Give all the blessing to us, our family and friends.
Accept all our good deeds and forgive our sins. I hope in this blessed month we all will find Lailatul Qadr.
Amin Ya Rabbal 'Alamin.